Poor Quality Banana

This morning the bank sent me a little fake-wooden crate in the post, With the message ‘Expect the Unexpected’ crudely written on the cover. Upon opening it, I discovered they had sent me a small, foam rubber banana, helpfully embossed with their corporate logo. Well, it was a least unexpected. As in “Hmmm, I thought the bank was wisely investing my money, not spending it on 28 million toy fucking bananas!” I was obviously miffed (Incidentally, legalities mean I can’t name the bank, but their slogan is ‘the world’s local bank’ and their name is HSBC), but after half an hour spent squeezing the banana I was curiously relaxed. Unfortunately the stalk then snapped off and I flew into a blind rage (I say ‘Blind Rage’, I actually mean ‘Made Curry For Dinner’). Anyway ‘The Man’, if you’re going to waste my cash on utter shite, at least make it quality shite huh?